Friday, December 21, 2007

Barely Made It Through That One

Something has been off today. I've been moody and fighting the urge to go outside and smoke all day. It's the closest I've come to messing up in the last 18 days.
Trying to get past it, I've spent the last two hours cleaning up my house, putting all the baby stuff away (the babies are gone until after the New Year) and attacking the ever growing mountain of laundry. (Although I do find comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one. Thanks for making me feel better Jamie.)
Keeping myself busy wasn't helping so I sat down and tried to figure out why all of a sudden I'm now fighting the biggest urge yet to end my 18 days of smoke free bliss. Then it hit me just as my blood sugar plummeted. I have barely eaten all day. I had oatmeal for breakfast, snacked on lunch meat and cheese at lunchtime and had a bowl of soup for dinner. It's now after midnight and I'm starving. But instead of realizing I'm hungry, my mind is taking it in as a craving to smoke. I think I've found my biggest trigger.
You see, not only has the Chantix taken away almost any desire for me to smoke, it has also taken away cravings for food. I've lost 5 pounds, but my blood sugar has been chaotic.
So with that in mind, I got up and started boiling some water in my coffee pot for some yummy oatmeal only to dump it as I changed my mind in favor of Rice Krispies cereal with cut up banana in it. I sat down and took a bite and nearly got sick as I realized that something tasted horribly wrong with the milk. (I just bought it. It doesn't expire until the 24th, but man was there something sour going on with that milk.) Sadly, I watched my uneaten cereal and banana disappear down the disposal and reboiled water for my oatmeal.
I'm taking this as a lesson. I should eat before I get to the point of total mind loss. Also, I should go to bed before I start talking about something more boring that what I'm eating.


maggie said...

Lynda, so glad you didn't smoke. It's amazing the odd stuff we learn about our triggers as we go.

I didn't get the not eating thing. Unfortunately. Because I'm a little bigger than when I quit smoking...

Hey, I never asked if you wanted to be added to my list of Chantix bloggers over on my blog. Just let me know.

Mz Diva said...

Congratulations on finding out what could be one of the things triggering you to smoking and doing something contrary! I have wanted to smoke many times since quitting but by learning how to modify situations that trigger me to smoke I have managed to avoid temptation! You are doing it girl! Be proud of yourself....

Vicki said...

Congrats on finding out what was really behind the urge and figuring out it was hunger. I'm so proud of you!

Brandie said...

Great job! Keep it up! I hope I get the less-hunger thing you're talking about, but I probably won't. I'll just have to counter with more exercise ;-)