Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Trying For "Normal"

My mother-in-law's funeral services this weekend were beautiful. No one has counted, but if I had to guess I'd say there had to have been over 200 people that came to say goodbye to Sally at her visitation on Saturday. That day was a lot easier to get through than I thought it would be.

Yesterday was the most difficult day yet for me. I've always been a very spiritual person and I believe that there are things out their that we can't not make sense of or understand. Since she passed away last Wednesday night, it feels likes she's been with us. Maybe she has been or maybe I just need to feel that way so that I can get through this, but it really has helped. After our final goodbye's at the funeral home yesterday morning, we waited in the foyer while they closed the casket so the pallbearers could carry her out. During that exact time, the grandfather clock near us started chiming. It could have been planned or it could have been coincidence, but it felt to me like it symbolized her passing. It was almost as if at that moment, she was telling us that that she was moving on and that it was time for us to do so as well.

We went on to her final resting place after that and had a quick blessing. The ceramic angels were taken off of her casket and given to us for each of her grandchildren, along with a flower each from the casket spray. We stayed to watch the casket put into the vault of the mausoleum and it was during that time that I lost it. When the granite stone was being placed over the opening of the vault and I could no longer see her casket, I broke down and let it all out.

Things have gotten better for us now. Bret tried to go back to work today, but may come home if it gets to be too much for him. I went over and got his Grandma out of bed and bathed and dressed her this morning. The kids went back to school and Ashley has Volleyball practice tonight, but we'll all gather at Bret's parent's house again tonight, I'm sure. Life goes on, but it may take a bit longer to get back on track.

9 comments:

maggie said...

Hang in there, Lynda. It's a long road, and everyone has a different experience, but you'll find your own balance in getting back to normal even while still grieving. I could relate about doing OK until the last part - that's when I completely lost it, too, at my mom's funeral because that was finally final. My thoughts are with you all.

Brandie said...

Such a beautful story about the chiming of the clock. Normal will come eventually, but probably not as soon as you'd like or expect it to. I'm glad you have a strong family that is able to pull through this together. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Mz Diva said...

Lynda,
You are such a pillar of strengh for your family you deserve to have your own grief let out too. I cannot even imagine what it must be like to take care of a family in this type of situation. I am glad you are all comforting each other during this difficult time.
Peace,
Diva

Mz Diva said...

Lynda,
You are such a pillar of strengh for your family you deserve to have your own grief let out too. I cannot even imagine what it must be like to take care of a family in this type of situation. I am glad you are all comforting each other during this difficult time.
Peace,
Diva

MamaFlo said...

Lynda, your mother-in-law sounds like she was a loved and respected woman and it sounds as though she touched many lives in a positive way. Although I'm certain she was glad to see what her life meant to those she loved, she wants you to move forward in your life, to love and care for her son and grandchildren. I don't believe we are ever really gone, just moved on and we are all a part of one another.

She loved you, you loved her, that's a wonderful life.

Brandie said...

Geesh woman!!! Don't worry about Trim Up Tuesday this week. Hmm... I don't think the 1 pound weight gain was water... I think I'll be gaining weight for a while now (psst... read my most recent blog). Hope you're doing well.

Teri said...

Just wanted to say that when I left on Sunday, a bird was singing. It was the sweetest thing!!

Tasina said...

Take your time - we'll all be here waiting for you when you're ready to come back.

{{{hug}}}

MamaFlo said...

How are you doing Lynda? We're thinking about you and missing you.
Love & Hugs