Sunday, April 20, 2008

Getting By


It's only been less than 4 days since Sally passed away, but it feels like so much more time has passed. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and I'm sure we've only partially made our way through them. All of the busy work of planning has helped - I never knew how much planning went into a funeral.

One of the things that we've been putting a lot of work into are picture memorials. We have 3 huge collages made of pictures of Sally from birth to present to show how much meaning her life has had. Some of those pictures and her obituary can be viewed at http://www.mem.com/. Her last name is the same as ours and her first name is Sally. I will warn you that the movie is difficult to watch - it will be playing at the funeral home and we've all broken down when watching it already. If you don't know our last name and would like to visit the site, just leave me your email address in the comments and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

The kids seem to be doing much better. We've all been surrounded by family, and being able to play with their cousins from sun up to sun down has really helped them get through this. The rest of us still have our moments when the water works come with no warning, but I think the shock is starting to wear off and the acceptance is beginning to come.

Visitation and funeral services are this afternoon (with the burial tomorrow morning) and will probably bring the grief back all over again, but hopefully closure will follow. We've all been putting together mementos that are important to each of us to place in the memory drawer of her casket. Also, her casket will have four removable angel statues on each corner that will be given to each of the grandkids. Sally especially had a thing for angels and I can't tell you how perfect this is. Those angels will be priceless to us.

We have had an overwhelming amount of support come in from cards to emails to meals to well wishes. I can't tell all of you how much this has helped us to keep moving forward. Your words of comfort have been wonderful.

I've also found that it just doesn't feel right to be here at home. I feel like our place right now is over at my in-law's house. It's still hard to walk in the door there because you were always greeted by her with a big smile and welcome, but her presence is definately there and it has a calming effect on all of us. It just feels right to all be together right now. I'm not ready to go back to the "real" world yet.

My mom came down first thing Thursday morning and that has been a blessing. We've been able to get preparations taken care of without having to worry about which one of us would have to stay behind and take care of the kids or Sally's mom. She's also kept up our laundry which is a good thing or I'd be wearing blue panties with khaki capri's right now. (Humor has been key to getting us all through this.)

Well, it's time to start the day. The kids need baths, clothes need ironing and my sister-in-law and I need to go to the funeral home to set up all of the pictures. I wish today didn't have to happen, but it does and we'll get through it together.

3 comments:

Mz Diva said...

Lynda,
I am praying for you all in this time of grief. I lost my parents at a really young age and death is really hard, no matter how old you are. I am sure it must be hard on the kids and there is really nothing you can say that will change any of it. Realizing that death was a part of life was one of the heartest things I have had to learn about! I am sure the services will be beautiful.
Peace,
Diva

maggie said...

Lynda, what a beautiful tribute on the mem.com website. Amazing. I think it's really something special that you were so close, and my heart continues to be with your family. All of the busy work preparation does help, but it can be tough once that part is all done, and grief is a long process. Having a strong sense of humor (which I'm so glad you have) helped me a lot, and I hope that it will help you along with pulling in close to family and supporting each other. Please remember to be gentle with yourself. I wish I lived closer so I could give you a hug and bring you a meal, too - so glad that others are doing so.

Brandie said...

Good luck with the burial today. The picture collages are a great way to celebrate a person's life. There's not much I say at the moment, except you and your family are in my thoughts and I am deeply sorry. I hope acceptance is fully realized soon.