Hope

Towards the end of last school year, we were pretty worried about Ryan academically. He went through a lot of testing and the results left us pretty discouraged and worried about his future. We managed to get through the end of the school year with some progress made.

Now we have just completed the first quarter of this new school year and I am amazed at how well Ryan is catching up. Tonight was our parent/teacher conference with his teacher and I must tell you that I was expecting a lot of low grades since that seemed to be the norm last year. I am happy to report that his report card was a lot better!

While he still has some struggles when it comes to reading comprehension and writing, his reading fluency is really coming along. One month ago, Ryan was reading 41 words a minute. And now? 81! He doubled it in one month!

Reading and Writing struggles aside, he's doing excellent in all other areas. His confidence level is growing. That was one of the things that broke my heart into a million little pieces. If something was too hard for him to grasp, he'd get very frustrated - because he knew that he was supposed to be able to do it, but couldn't. Now, he's showing more confidence and his self esteem has improved as well. He no longer fights us when it's time to sit down and do school work.

I'm teary eyed right now. I'm so proud of him. I'm less worried. I see the progress. I'll never get tired of hearing him read out loud.

Six months ago tonight, we lost my mother in law. It was easily the most awful night of our lives. Tonight is particularly tough, because she is the person we would most love to share this with. She beamed with pride when it came to her grandchildren - wanted to know every detail of their lives. This would have made her more proud than any straight A report card because it gives us all hope. It shows us that Ryan will catch up and will succeed.

Homecoming Parade

This weekend is Dunlap's big Homecoming weekend! Ashley survived her first parade in the marching band and had a great time.

After the parade, we ran home to eat and change clothes and then went and cheered on the football team at the game.

Today we're off to Chicago to drop off the kids at my mom's and then it's on to my friend Emily's house for girls night out.

Week In Review

I apologize for disappearing this week, but things are now finally starting to slow down. Ashley's softball season is officially over. Her last game of the season was Wednesday night. Watching her games has been a lot of fun, but I'm ready for it to be over.

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Homework has been out of control now that school is back in full swing. It seems like once we're all home and done with dinner, we're spending the rest of our nights buried in homework. Ashley is doing excellent in school. No problems there. Ryan is struggling a little, but we expected that. While he has made tremendous progress - I'll never get tired of him reading a book to us - he still has some more catching up to his peers to do. Five years of undiagnosed hearing loss plus a possible learning disability will do that to you. We just have to stay patient, work with him and keep on top of the school.

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Homework time.

Earlier this week, Ryan brought home a short story that he wrote himself with no help. I was very proud and promptly hung it on our fridge. It had some spelling errors, but it showed promise. Being able to write an actual sentence was a challenge for him last year.

Also this week, I got my highlights redone and my hair cut. It's still very blonde right now, but it'll tone down in a week or so. I went for more layers this time around because I'm so tired of my hair just hanging there, doing absolutely nothing. I was amazed at how many of the little kids at school the next day noticed my hair.

The weather here has been horrible and depressing for the last couple of days. It has rained nonstop. Despite the constant rain, we went to the high school football game tonight. We made it through the first half and ended up leaving during halftime because of Ryan's boredom (his friends decided not to brave the rain), the obnoxiously loud parent behind us and because we looked and felt like drowned rats.

Ryan is ready for the football game.

Brings back memories of the good old days.

I didn't get any pictures of Ashley tonight. Once we walked through the gates, she was swallowed up by a group of her friends and gone. Seems to be becoming the norm these days. Sigh.

First Days (Updated)

Monday was the big day as the kids went back to school. Monday and Tuesday were half days and today will be their first full day - as well as my first day at one of the grade schools as a Lunch and Playground Supervisor. The kids took going back to school fine, but I have to admit that I'm a little nervous. I'll be working with 3 other moms and let's face it - moms can be mean! They can be more click-ish than their kids sometimes. I don't know a single person at this school except for the principal who happens to be our neighbor. I do know a handful of the kids that Ryan went to preschool with, but that's about it. Should be interesting.

Ryan waits at the bus stop with his friends on Monday morning.



Onto the bus my baby goes.

And then he's off.

Ashley has been ready for school for awhile now.

Out the door she goes.

And this would be as close to the bus stop as we are allowed to go!

Update: My first day went very well today. It's a bit chaotic and very busy with 5 grades on staggered lunch and recess schedules, but the other moms were all very nice and friendly. I worry too much. :-)

Changes Ahead

I'm still working on posting pictures from our trip to Grand Bear Lodge last weekend. I haven't forgotten. I was just waiting on getting the pictures that my brother in law took. I've got them now and will try to get to those tomorrow.

School starts on Monday and the kids are actually excited to go back. I think they miss being around their friends all day, even if it means that school work goes with it. Or maybe they are tired of me. Ha.

So. What to do with myself when they go back next week? I could spend maybe two weeks or so cleaning and organizing my house, but that would get old really fast. Since making the decision to stop babysitting, I've been trying to come up with a plan.

I've already committed to being Vice President of the PTO at Ryan's school and that will keep me somewhat busy - and yes that also means I'll be chairing Rock The House again this year. I've already had my first RTH related nightmare - and it's only August.

It just so happened that by word of mouth I was offered a part time position supervising lunch and recess at one of the grade schools in our district. I jumped on it because it gets my foot in the door if something else were to open up. The only downfall is that it's not at Ryan's school, but I've been told that I can be moved there if an opening becomes available. I'll only have to go in for about two hours each full school day. I'll be off when my kids are off or when they only have a half of day. And in that two hours a day, I'll be making close to what I was making each day when I was watching Chloe. Perfect - except that now I've gone from watching one kid to watching over 300 kids. Oh well - it'll buy some groceries or at least fill up my gas tank every week, right?

It's unbelievable how much you have to go through to work in a school. I had to have a physical yesterday, along with a TB test. Today I had to go down to the courthouse and get finger printed so that they can run a background check on me. I am now obligated by law to report any suspicions I have of child abuse to DCFS and then there is also a huge mound of paperwork to fill out.

I start work next Wednesday and will have just until lunchtime to myself on Monday and Tuesday while the kids are at school. I had all kinds of ideas of what I might do during the first two kid free days since the beginning of summer break and have decided that the minute they walk out the door I'm going to put my iPod on and sing at the top of my lungs just because I can. I'd like to apologize to the neighbors right now.

I've loved having the kids home this summer, but in the past week I've felt my patience thinning quite a bit. It's time for them to go back to school so I can whine about missing them.

Back To School

I'm cracking up over here. Ashley and I went school supply shopping today and she and her friends are comparing school supplies like it's Christmas morning. What a gag!

Progress

After talking to the Special Education teacher who will (and has been) working with Ryan at school, I'm a little less confused. She's actually a good friend of mine that lives down the street and Ryan adores her, so that works in our favor. She explained to me that Ryan's test scores aren't really as low as we were led to believe.

While there may be a learning disability, it's hard to know for sure, since he was already 5 years old when we figured out that he had hearing loss. There are other factors in play here such as 5 years of catching up on hearing that he missed out on before getting his hearing aids. Then there is the delay at the beginning of the school year of getting the proper fitting FM System so that he could hear his teacher talk into a microphone that goes straight to his hearing aids, which may be why he fell behind in the first place.

The problem with all of the testing that they did on him is that they are standard tests that they use on every child that is struggling. They don't take into account that he has hearing loss. The same is true when they do these tests on a child with autism. I have a hard time understanding why they would use the same tests on both kids.

Regardless, I have a lot of faith in Ryan's Special Education teacher. She has goals set for him and high expectations, too. She's said that Ryan has made great progress since she's started working with him and that he should continue to be able to catch up.

Someday, when he's a doctor or a lawyer we're going to look back and shake our heads. We probably still won't fully understand it then. I'm just thankful that we live in such a great school district.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Today was the much anticipated IEP meeting at school. All sorts of people with important looking initials after their names had done a full range of evaluations on Ryan and today was the day that we learned of the results. Or were suppose to, but really I only feel more confused.

Ryan's evaluations show that he has a learning disability. Only I don't really understand what kind of a learning disability he has. Shouldn't that be obvious? Isn't the term "learning disability" a pretty general condition? (See, you're confused now, too, aren't you?)

He struggles in Reading and Math. He has Motor Planning and Sensory Issues. I did pick up on some low scores regarding Auditory Processing. I may have also heard someone say "not related to his hearing loss" at some point during the meeting. They all seemed to rush through their reports or were speaking another language all together, and I had a hard time making sense of it all. The part I did pick up on over and over again? "Bottom line of average. Below average."

This all important meeting is being concluded in two weeks because his Speech Therapist didn't show up today. So I'm pretty sure I'll be on the phone with the person in charge of all of this tomorrow - asking her to go over all of this in English because I want to know what is wrong with my baby!

Bottom line? My son is struggling in school and it's not his fault and I have to force myself to believe that it's not *our* fault. He qualifies for Special Education, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy and a Hearing Consultant. Their major goal right now is to close the gap from between where he stands right now educationally to where his peers stand. I should be glad they are so proactive, but I just wish I could understand more of what is going on. I wish I knew what to do.

This is where it really hits home that my mother in law isn't with us anymore. I'd give almost anything right now to be able to ask her for help. She was a Speech Pathologist and knew her stuff. We'd always go straight to her and have a pow wow when these meetings were over.

Where in the world do we go from here?

Another Day

Thanks to everyone for all of their support and positive words. I started this off as a comment and it eventually turned into a post on it's own.

It took me awhile to comprehend it myself yesterday. When I first got the phone call, it was like at first I didn't understand and then the panic took hold. For fifteen minutes, I had no idea how bad the situation was. Thankfully (even though it still angers me to no end) it seems to have been a false alarm.

There's been a lot of media coverage on school shootings in the news lately. In Peoria we've had two lock downs since last week and then there were the NIU shootings. Nonstop media coverage and we wonder where kids are getting the idea from. Only in yesterday's situation at Ashley's school, it's being said now that a parent called it in and that 4 individuals were questioned but nothing came of it. That is unacceptable to me - someone should be held accountable and I really hope they get to the bottom of this.

On the flip side though, our school handled it very well. Ashley said that the principal made an announcement that the school was going into lock down and within seconds, everyone was in position. She said at first no one knew what was going on and thought that maybe it was another practice drill. After a half hour passed, they started thinking it was real but didn't feel like they were in any danger. For the next hour they sat in their corner talking quietly with friends until the all clear was announced.

I do feel confident that were this a real life threatening situation, or if one were to arise in the future, that our kids would be safe and taken care of. That's what gave me the strength to send her back today.

The Moment Time Stopped

I got a phone call this afternoon that made my blood run cold. A friend of mine informed me that my daughter's school was in lock down due to a gun threat. She didn't have any other information than that. A gun threat at a middle to upper class middle school that parents send their kids to for a better, safer education. For fifteen minutes I knew nothing other than that. I called my husband and told him all I knew and to get to the school as fast as he could.

Many phone calls between many people later, it was learned through the news that it was reported that a gun "may" have been brought to school. The school was put on lock down - kids were locked in their classrooms with the lights turned off, huddled in the corner until the all clear was given.

The gun was never found and the students and staff were eventually dismissed. Ashley's phone paid for itself when she called me from the bus on her way home to check in with me. Unfortunately, during the lock down it was turned off and in her locker.

Everyone is safe here at home now and life goes on, but it's going to be hard sending her out the door in the morning. What is wrong with this world?! How are you suppose to send your kids to school after something like this happens? I just have to remind myself that it could have been so much worse.

Must Sit Down And Write Post

You'd think that with the school carnival being over, I'd have time to breathe. I've still been pretty busy tying up loose ends and trying to figure out our profit. I swear, you can tell people until you're blue in the face to get their reimbursement forms in on time, but there are always some that don't listen. So, I still don't know what our profit is yet. I keep trying to get numbers from our treasurer, but she's not done yet and it's frustrating. Until I get those numbers, I can't even come up with a rough estimate. So I wait.

Saturday night couldn't have run any smoother than it did. Everything went off without a hitch. Many parents and teachers have said that this year was more organized than ever and that the kids finally had enough to do to keep them busy. In the past, it's always been about making money through the Raffle and the kids ended up bored because they haven't had enough to do to last the whole night. This year we added all kinds of activities and games and it was a huge success. The kids had a blast and the parents were impressed. That's what matters.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my family and I did pretty well in the Raffle ourselves this year. We won the iPod Nano Video (that is now mine after finessing it out of my daughter's hands), a Picnic In The Park classroom basket filled with all kinds of fun stuff, a Cold Stone Creamery Gift Basket (which reminds me that I have to order Ashley's ice cream cake for tomorrow), ice skating passes, a small gift bag that included a $15 gift card to Anecdotes, a small gift shop here in Peoria, and a bunch of free kids meal at Chili's. My mother in law won a Remote Control Helicopter for the kids to play with at her house. I'd say we all made out pretty well.

While Bret and Ryan enjoyed the carnival, Ashley and her friend ran a booth all night. They worked their butts off. The only moment I got to sit down was to eat dinner with my family for about 15 minutes. I had Bret go through the line and get all of our dinners and met up with him and the kids at the table. My reasoning was that the carnival had me all night, but I was determined to eat dinner with my family. Once dinner was over, I did indeed run around all night, making sure everything ran smoothly and keeping the DJ on track. It was a lot of fun, but when I did finally get home and into bed, the wheels in my head were still spinning at a hundred miles per hour.

There have also been some new developments since all this started. A week before the carnival, our PTO President announced that she and her family are being transferred over seas to Australia for 3 years through her husband's job at Caterpillar. He leaves this weekend. She and the kids leave next month. It's going to be really sad when they go because she has done so much for the school this year. I'm now preparing to learn how to run the PTO for the remainder of the year in her shoes. Will someone please knock me in the side of the head to see if my common sense returns?

Throughout all of this, I've remained smoke free. Over the weekend I did have some really strong cravings to smoke. I got through them, but it wasn't fun. I've been trying to get back on the Chantix since my doctor's appointment, but I just can't remember to take it - or my other medicine. Life should start to calm down now this week, which might help, but I'm not sure what to do with the Chantix. I don't want to slip up, but I just can't remember to take the darn stuff. Without it, I do notice more cravings so it may be best to try and discipline myself into taking it.

Ok. I'm off to try and get my poor neglected house back in order. Everyone is about out of clean underwear here and I've been trying to get the bathrooms clean since last Wednesday.

Oh My!

Wow. That went really fast. It's all over and done with and was a HUGE success! I'm going to go drag myself down the hallway and find my bed.

I'll share all the details tomorrow, but will leave you with this: We only have a rough estimate at this time, but we made more money this year than any other year.

Plus Ashley won a classroom basket and we also won an iPod Nano and 4 other prizes in the Raffle! Whoo hoo!

I'm beat, but man was it awesome!

Rock The House Decorations

After 3 more hours at school this morning the decorating is done and we are READY to ROCK!

This is the quilt that all of the first graders made for our Silent Auction. I want it bad!!!

Ryan's square:

To see all of the decoration pictures, click here.

Preview

Guess who's son was the top seller of Raffle Tickets in his classroom? Ryan was super excited and very surprised during school yesterday when he was announced the winner.

Yesterday was pretty much a whirlwind of chaos and fun. The big night isn't until tonight, but we were at school until 7pm setting up last night. I snapped a few pictures in the gym, but the lighting isn't very good in there and I have no idea what setting to put the camera on. We're suppose to meet back up at school this morning to blow up balloons and finish up the decorations. I'll get more pictures this morning because I stopped taking them last night when I realized I was going to have to take new ones today when we were done. These are just a few of the booths in the gym. Wait until you see the commons area where everything else is. It looks awesome, if I say so myself.

How To Know You Can Expect A Snow Day

• Your kids will wake up at the crack of dawn because they're excited to see if school will be cancelled, but on a regular school morning you have to drag their butts out of bed.
• Your son was scared by all of the racket that the plows were making at 3am this morning and climbed into bed with you. So, you've been up since 3am, but you can't crawl back into bed because it's a snow day and your kids are home.
• Your daughter will have stayed up late the night before trying to get her homework finished, only to have 3 days to get it done now.
• Your son knows his spelling words as well as he knows his baseball card collection, and will now have to wait three days to take the test.
• You have an important school newsletter that needs to go out, now it will have to wait until Monday.
• You were going to go to the gym for the first time in two weeks since you did God know's what to your knee, now it seems you may never get back there.

These are just a few of the signs that made me pretty sure that we would actually get the 6-8 inches of snow that they were calling for over night. Since Bret works for the city, his work cell started going off at 6am this morning. He's been pulled off of his normal work load to supervise the plows. He's relieving the guys that have been out there since 7pm last night. At least he got a day shift, but it could be really late before we see him back here.

Chloe is staying home today with her mom so it's just me and my kiddos today. I think I'll go throw some soup mix in the crockpot and watch last night's episode of Lost while curled up under my big fluffy warm blanket.

(By the way, what is up with blogger and their awful formatting lately? My paragraphs are all over the place. It's making me want to scream!)

Bully Update

I've had a couple of people ask me how the situation with Ryan being bullied at school is going, so I thought I'd give a quick update.

We talked to the principal again yesterday to let her know that Ryan was still having problems with this boy at recess. She told me that all of the 1st and 2nd grade teachers have been told to watch the situation since this boy is in 2nd grade and they all take turns supervising recess. He's also been given a stern talking to by the principal.

Yesterday was the first day that Ryan came home and said that the boy hadn't been mean to him. In fact, the boy kept trying to tell Ryan jokes at recess yesterday and told him that he wanted to be his friend. Ryan was pretty confused and didn't really want to have anything to do with him. Could all of this be about not knowing how to make a friend? I'm stumped there.

I am a very forgiving person, and I've noticed that my kids are the same way, but if you mess with my kids the claws will come out. I admit that my first reaction is to get upset and vent about it, which is what I've done here and with other friends and family. Once I've calmed down I then address the situation.

While yesterday seemed to go well, I'm holding out on believing that this thing is resolved until some time passes. We shall see.

I have learned a few things about this boy and I'm willing to bet that his home life isn't very nurturing. I wouldn't be surprised if he receives at home what he dishes out at school. I may get some criticism for saying this, but I think the way your child acts and treats others is dependant on how you interact with them. You set the example and teach them the tools that they'll need to get through life. Some kids, sadly, don't ever get that.

I can't for a minute imagine either one of my kids being physically aggressive. It's just not in them. OK, Ryan may take out his frustration on an inanimate object that's upsetting him, but I honestly don't think that he (or Ashley) would ever intentionally do something that could hurt someone. They are way to compassionate for that.

So, we will wait and see how things progress this week. If need be, my next step is to involve the school counselor. She was a tremendous help when Ryan had such a difficult transition into Kindergarten.

We'll take it as it comes. Thanks to everyone for all of your support and offers to kick some "little punk a#*". I may be giving you a call...LoL.

Crazy Busy

This week really flew by way to fast. I've been so busy planning this school carnival for Ryan's school that I feel like it's all I do anymore. (Do you see my house nodding it's head in agreement?)

Yesterday was the big Kick Off Assembly at school and it was a huge success. Sadly, I wasn't able to run it since I had two babies here yesterday and it was scheduled for right smack in the middle of nap time. I hear it was a huge success and that the kids are getting really excited about all of the new games and activities we've planned for this year.

Four weeks from today, this carnival will hopefully be a huge success. As long as we make $50 more than last year's profit, I'll be happy. More would prove that I really know what I'm doing, but I'll just settle for $50.

My mom is coming down to visit this weekend, so all things carnival are being put on hold for the weekend - or at least until the next time I open up my email and have a million emails to respond to.

Moving on, I called Ryan's principal yesterday morning regarding the situation with "the little punk" and don't really feel as if I made much progress. While she agrees this problem needs to be taken care of, I got the sense that she was questioning what Ryan is saying. She said that she had a hard time believing that the recess monitors wouldn't see this kind of behavior. Obviously she hasn't seen that the monitors stand around in a corner talking while the kids run around unsupervised.

She also said that she talked to "the little punk" yesterday morning and, of course, he denies everything. She said she was pulling him from recess, but that maybe Ryan had him confused with another kid. Ryan has pointed the kid out in his yearbook, so that is unlikely. Then when I asked Ryan if he was at recess, he said yes and that this kid pushed him down again. What in the world is the problem over there?!

Bret emailed the principal himself yesterday afternoon, but he hasn't gotten a response yet. He basically asked if there was anything he could do and informed them that he could rearrange his lunch hour to help supervise recess if need be. He pretty much said what I wanted to scream at her, but with a little more tact.

So, we wait again. However, starting next Monday I'll be at school daily in the morning to collect school carnival stuff and copying newsletters, so you can bet I'll be arriving there right as recess is starting.

Mommies, UNITE!

Some one needs to calm me down, because the mommy claws are coming out! You see, we've had an issue with a little boy at school who has been bullying Ryan and many other kids during recess. It ranges from unkind words to pushing Ryan out of line while he waits his turn to kick in kickball. Ryan or the other kids get pushed down, they fall down, they then have to go to the back of the line because this little punk hasn't gotten a taste of his own medicine yet. I say yet, because his day will come, I'm sure. (Ok, I pray.) (No one said I had to be nice, here.)

Bret and I have brought this up with the school principal and Ryan's teacher. We've been told that the school has a zero tolerance for bullying and that it will be taken care of in a delicate fashion that will not make the situation worse for the child that is being bullied. Basically, they want to catch the little punk in the act so that it doesn't look like some crazy mommy is out to protect her baby. Humph.

Two days ago I had to make a trip to school to talk Ryan into staying at school because he was upset and wanted to go home. He said his stomach hurt, but admitted that another kid had been mean to him. I didn't put two and two together until he told Bret that night that the kid was in fact, "the punk." Grrrrr.

Rest assured, they say they are taking care of it.

Case closed? No. Tonight I as I'm laying with Ryan in bed (a ritual Bret started - insert dirty look here) we are talking and I ask him if he's had anymore problems with "the punk". (We use his real name here at home, but that probably wouldn't be smart here and this is much nicer than the name that I would like to call him.) He tells me that yesterday during morning recess, "the punk" punched him in the face and Ryan fell and hit his head on the gym floor. He said he told on him, but didn't know if he got in trouble because Ryan had to go to the office to put ice on his head. The little shit punched my son in the face. I'm done being nice.

Why wasn't I called? Why is this kid still allowed around my son - or in recess for that matter?! If this kid breaks a $5,000.00 hearing aid, is his mother going to cough up the money to replace it? This obviously isn't being taken care of since it's still happening. The poor kid's lips are so chapped from nervously biting them that I'm scared to death they're going to get infected.

So I've emailed Ryan's teacher, with the purpose of explaining why he'll be glued to his Chapstick tomorrow and tactfully mentioned why I think Ryan is a bit stressed. As mad as I am and as demanding as I want to be right now - it won't get me or Ryan anywhere. So I will remain calm and nice when I call the school's principal tomorrow, but will insist that this kid be kept away from my precious little boy. Or else.

If that doesn't work they may get an unexpected visitor (plus two more in a double stroller) at recess everyday to help them out with supervision since there obviously is a lack of it.

It's Going To Be Okay

Thank you so much for all of your support and kind words on my previous post. Things went really well at our school meeting on Wednesday. We presented all of our concerns and were surprised to find out that they've already begun to take action.

Every day for 45 minutes (in addition to seeing the reading aid) he's being taken out of class and receiving additional help with reading and math from a teacher who happens to be a friend and neighbor of mine. Ryan loves her and seems to be enjoying the time working with her. We also found out that they've been doing a program called Ear Aerobics with him since November. (I wish we had been told!) My understanding is that this will help him strengthen his auditory processing.

So, while they have up to 60 days to perform all of the evaluations on him, (which we will then meet with everyone and come up with some answers and solutions) it seems they have already gotten started trying to catch him up. What a relief.

Here's my issue with all of this. We obviously don't want to find out that he has a learning disability, but to get the help he needs, that's what it takes. Otherwise they have to try and find other ways to justify giving him the help. I hate red tape.

The Post I've Been Trying To Avoid

I've been trying to write this post for close to a week now, but every time I give it a go, I get too emotional and stop. Today is our meeting with the school principal and Ryan's teacher. Ryan has been having a hard time in school and we're not sure if it's a result of the hearing loss and speech delay, if there's a learning disability or what the case may be. His report card came home last Friday and we were surprised to see that he was failing Reading.

Back at the beginning of the school year we noticed that they went straight from kindergarten's "memorize these sight words" to 1st grade's "sound out these words and spell them". Ryan already has had to deal with 5 years of catching up on and relearning many letter sounds due to his hearing loss, but this was kind of a surprise to us. The first week of school they were already having spelling tests and to the best of our knowledge, phonics was never taught much last year.

We were pretty upset when he brought home spelling tests with only one or two words correct, but we worked with him nightly on them and he now only gets 1 or 2 wrong and has even once brought home a paper with all of them correct. He works hard at them and we're in return very proud of him.

Today's meeting is to go over any questions we have regarding a full case study evaluation they are going to do with him to see what is going on. Supposedly we will learn in what way his brain processes information that he learns, which will in turn tell us how to teach him things more effectively. That's pretty much all I understand, hence the importance of today's meeting - to find out more.

Bret and I also have a list of concerns written up to go over with them. Number one being that we are already half way through the school year and we are just now dealing with this? Also, why in the world did it take over a month to get the FM System in place that is suppose to be making it easier for him to hear his teacher? This could very well be a factor in why he is continuing to struggle - he got too far behind.

Another issue we have is as to why we weren't notified sooner that things had gotten so bad. We knew he was having some trouble, (and got him an after school tutor) but not to the point of failing a subject. This is suppose to be one of the best school districts in the state - the reason why we built our house where we did in time for him to start school here - and he's still having to work extra harder than his peers. No wonder he says he hates school. He's frustrated and most likely, upset with himself.

We always tell our children that it's not their grades that matter to us, it's how much they work at it. If we feel they've done their best, than we are proud of them for that. We love them no matter what and will always be proud of them. Ashley has always been a straight A student and learning just comes easier to her. She's just that smart and loves school. So when we have a child that doesn't want to go, it worries us.

Worries us. That's not strong enough. It tears at my heart because I want to help him so badly that I'd do anything. We tend to blame ourselves - that we're not working with him enough - but the truth is that we do work with him every night. I do homework with him and Bret studies with him as part of their night time ritual. We come up with all kinds of fun ways to approach it. We want to do more, but aren't sure just what more we can be doing. In our minds, we can never do enough.

Then you have the child's amazing memory. He can memorize anything. If you sat with him for an hour, you'd know everything there is to know about baseball and football. He can tell you the name of every team and what state they play for. He can tell you about various players, what team they play for or have played for. He has all this information up there and it amazes us, because it shows that he has the capacity to learn. Sometimes I feel like Bret could teach him anything. He makes learning so much fun that Ryan forgets he's learning. Maybe Bret should go with him to school everyday? Ha.

So, as this meeting approaches, I have my list ready and my brave mommy face on as I go into battle. Just kidding. It is what it is. But it's time to get to the bottom of this once and for all so that he can succeed.